Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I'm Free

In case nobody noticed with everything going on down on the Gulf Coast, Miss Martha was officially released today. SHe took the anklet off and went to yoga class. the world is getting back to normal.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

THREE MORE WEEKS!

There was talk of a yoga class, whispers of an unauthorized ATV ride: whatever the reason, the Fabulous Miss Martha has been sentenced to three more weeks at home.

FINALLY! Martha has given me something new to write about!

Apparently the domestic diva has been a naughty girl, and the world most well known time out is to continue until August 31. I feel sorry for her, actually: Martha once said that home confinement is worse then prison (as if you needed any more evidence that this girl is unhinged).

I guess she is running out of things to decorate.

To be honest, I think Martha got screwed, and not in a fun way. She was an easy target for the Feds to score some ink with and they ran her up the river. But she still deserves to be made fun of because, lets face it, she’s a pain.

When I started this blog I sent a note out to a lot of my friends, including my buddy Hugh, the most pompous, elitist man I know (and I was once president of the CSUS chapter of the Pompous Ass Society). He was mortified that I would start something making fun of Martha the only person who, as he put it, was trying to spread a little class and dignity in this pitiful NASCAR nation. Aside from the fact that without NASCAR nation his boy Bush would not be president right now, I thought this strange coming from a manly man like Hugh. He likes to hunt—not just with guns but with greyhounds and falcons, sports where things get really messy. His home was decorated in early gothic tacky. It didn’t make sense.

Martha does spread a certain type of style. What people hate about her (and what I Assume Hugh loves) is the elitist, I’m so much more perfect then everybody else nature of her style. It is weak. It is boring. It is certainly not manly.

The original idea behind this blog was not just to poke fun at Martha but also to discuss Martha’s world from a more masculine point of view, one in which soft, puke tone pastels are replaced with vivid primary colors, and where manly tackiness could be embraced. My next few posts will deal with these sorts of issues. And if Martha comes up out of her hole, we’ll talk about her too.