Monday, October 09, 2006

What kind of man are you?

What kind of man are you?

At some point, you have to decide what kind of man you want to be. Are you a beer bellied redneck in a flannel shirt and a NASCAR cap? Are you an international man of mystery in Italian suits and a convertible Jag? Are you Joe Jock, a rocker or a rugged mountain man? Are you larry the Cable Guy or Ron White? Enquiring minds want to know.

If you want to know what type of man you are it helps to compare yourself to a seventies action hero. Grizly Adams was a real man, no doubt about it. He lived alone in the wilderness, a friend of nature, a grizly bear his only companion. The Dukes of Hazard were real men too. They drove a stock car with a confederate battle flag on the roof, shot arrows with dynamite taped to them and had done time in prison for moonshine running. James Bond is the quintessential man’s man—sophisticated, deadly, suave and debonair. Shaft, one bad mother (watch your mouth), was a sex machine for all the chicks. And who was more manly the Charles Bronson in Mr. Majestyk, who just wanted to get his water melons to market?

But the manliest man of the seventies was Burt Reynolds. Burt was a football player from the University of Miami who just loved to have a good time. Nobody had more fun during the seventies then Burt. Don’t believe me? Just watch “Hooper” or “Gator” or even “Smokey and the Bandit.” He had an easy going charm, a good laugh, a strong right hand and a moustache all the girls loved. He was all about having fun—good easy going guy fun. When pushed, like in “Deliverance” or “White Line Fever,” he turned into the avenging anti hero, but underneath it all was the happy go lucky jock from “Longest Yard” and “Semi Tough.”

Admitedly, I also liked Burt because he reminds me of my dad, a happy go lucky jock with the same moustache. Dad loves the outdoors, and in the seventies he was a fisherman, a scuba diver, a wind surfer, a sailor and a back packer. He rafted the Snake River in an army surplus rubber raft, long before there were guides and fifty person boats and organized tours. He rode his Harley all over the place and a bicycled across Oregon. He sailed to Cabo San Lucas, flew Cesnas, dived for Abalone and hunted pheasant. He may have even shot a round of Golf. He has definitely lived what that manliest of all manly men, Teddy Roosevelt, called “the vigorous life.”

It’s important to know what kind of man you are because that will help you decide what your surrounding should look like. Rednecks revel in tackiness that James Bond would never approve of. Sports fans can surround themselves with memorabilia while athletes surround themselves with trophies and equipment. A hunter will put dead things on his walls where a naturalist will put Ansel Adams prints.

They will all, however, drink beer. Keep that in mind.


Blogger Lori said...

So ... what kind of man are YOU? (besides the beer drinking kind, of course). Inquiring minds want to know ...

12:53 PM  

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