What Martha Doesn't Know

Martha seems to know a lot about vomit-like collors and fresh-cut heather table decorations and anuals vs. perenials. But she doesn't know much about men. For instance, on her website this week she's featuring a great manly topic: comfort food. And, indeed, se does mean comfort food. She includes some of the essentials like mac and cheese, meatloaf, and chicken pot pie. but on this week's Martha Stewart Living the featured recipes are Tuna Tartar with red-apple vinegrete and avocado stuffed ith goat cheese. Real men eat tuna all the time, but it whould always be mixed with Miricle whip, and maybe celery amd a hard boiled egg. Usually, just the miricle whip will do.

But on to more important things, like some manly things to do for the Superbowl. Now, superbowl parties are among the most important clebrations of the year, and only men really know how to do them right. Men know what's important about the Superbowl.

Like Straight Chili and Maritas.


SRAIGHT CHILI

Straight Chili is called that because it is pure. It does not me straight as in "heterosexual." It is more like "straight" as in "uncorupted by extraneous ingridients--especially BEANS."

Two pounds of the best steak you can find and/or afford
five jalopeno peppers, chopped
two eight ounce cans of tomato sauce
two 16 ounce cans budweiser beer
four cloves of garlic
1/4 cup chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teasopoon paprika
1 tablespoon ground red pepper
1 bay leaf
as many other nasty litle peppers are you feel comofrtable adding.

cube or shred the beef
in a very large skillet or wok, brown the beef till the cubes are cooked through

In a dutch oven combine all the ingredients. Simmer over a low flame for four hours.

Set out with sour cream, cheese, diced onions, and hotsauces in varrying degrees of pain.

Serve forth with warm flour tortillas (for dipping) and magaritas.

Now That's a Superbowl!!