Aprentice

Well, Miss Martha's new show is on the air now and the ratings are pitiful. Apparently aranging autumn leaves into a decorative table setting is more interesting the watching a bunch of power hungry interior designers kiss ass. I'd really think it would be the other way around--kind of a cross between Trump's *Aprentice* and *Queer Eye.* Oh well.

On a much more important note, football season is on, and that means football parties are back! The playoffs are in full swing, NASCAR has weven races to go in the chase, and holy crap! There was hockey on my TV last night! And pre-season basketball! For like, a week, all the major sports will be on at once! Is this heaven or what?

Men must prepare. Try this for your next sports party. Instead of burgers or dogs or Johnsonsonville Bratts steeped in beer (ok, that last one *is* a great idea). Get one of those grill stone things. The most versitile come as an accessory to a swiss raclette grill. Good ones are available from Target, but if you just google "stone grill" or "raclette stone" you'll find lots. It is kind of like fondue for meat. It's great for a party. Men love the smell of cooking meat.. Now you can grill without getting up from the couch! Is that paradise or what? Thin sliced meat, wedges of red pepper or squash, apples or pears, cooked right there on the coffee table. Never miss a play, a check or a pass again! Wash it down with some thick malty German beer or a good Czech pilsner. You can't go wrong.